This made me think about motivation. We all have our reasons why we can't do something -especially something monotonous and as seemingly pointless as running when our lives are not in danger. But what is your reason why you CAN? Or better yet, why you will?
For me, it was a combination of things. Firstly, let me just say that I HATE exercise for the sake of exercise. Seriously. Gyms kill me. I have 5 million better things to do with my time. I'm working on qualifying for my PhD for god's sake. On top of that, I have 2 kids under 10, part of my grad school requirements are that I not only have to take classes, I also have to teach them, and still find time for my research. There just aren't enough hours in the day. Secondly, I HATE feeling like I'm not in control of my life. I have spent way too much time methodically planning what I want to do, and where I want to be to just let go.
So that's where I was at the start of this thing. Stressed out, not sleeping well, not happy with myself physically. And then some jerk of a professor decides to pull a stunt that (it seemed to me) put my entire career in jeopardy (don't ask). I was a wreck! I had lost all control. I went from not sleeping well, to hardly sleeping at all. I was a complete mess. After a couple weeks, I decided that it was time to get a grip. I needed to find something to focus my energy on. Something that I could control. You always hear about how exercise makes for good stress relief, helps you sleep better, blah, blah, blah. So, hey, what the hell, I thought. After all, if I really hate it, I can just quit. That's the beauty of being in control.
But how does that fit in with the 'I hate exercise' thing? I may hate exercise, but I'm competitive as hell. I love a challenge. I love when people tell me I can't do something, for the simple joy of rubbing it in their self-righteous faces when I do. Plus, it wasn't pointless. At the end of this whole thing, I was supposed to run a race. That gave meaning to the exercise. In essence, it was no longer exercise for the sake of exercise, it was training - preparation for a competition.
That's why I started, but why do I keep going? Ever heard of a runner's high? Usually when you hear of such things, it applies to seriously long distance runners. Well, that's because their bodies are used to running a lot. As with any drug, over time, your body gets used to the adrenaline, endorphin, and other feel-good chemicals and it takes more and more to feel the effect. But for you, it won't take much. Caveat: every expert account I've read says that not everyone experiences the runner's high, but I sure as hell do. Seriously, I was never really into illegal drugs, but god I get twitchy if I go too long between runs. I get cranky. I get restless. I need my fix.
But oh man, that high. Truth: the actual running part can suck quite a lot. Afterward though, I think more quickly, I'm in a fantastic mood, I am insanely focused and productive. And it lasts for HOURS, sometimes most of the day. And then that night, I sleep like a baby. Of all the things to get addicted to, I highly recommend this one!
One more stumbling block to the motivation to get started: you feel like an idiot. This is totally common among new runners, but is especially common with us Fatties. We don't know how to do it right. We're going to jiggle and bounce worse than Homer Simpson. Jello is going to look down right graceful next to us. So F-ing what?! There are precautions you can take against the jiggle, to an extent. After that, screw what everybody else thinks! I saw a quote a few days ago that said, 'No matter how slow you go, you're still lapping all those people on the couch.' Damn right I am!
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