Forget Curiosity, Competition Killed the Cat...

I may have mentioned that I'm running my first 5k this Monday - the 4th of July. Normally, I run with my hubby and kids. Now, to give you a little perspective, my hubby is one of those 6-ft tall, eat whatever he wants, natural-born athletes. When we first started running, he decided to see how fast he could do a 5k - no training, just a base time. He did it in 25 minutes - with a 6 year-old in tow. So plodding along at my snail pace is entirely a show of moral support, he gets nothing whatsoever out of it. However, like most guys, when it comes to sports, he's highly competitive. And I mean ANY sport - soccer, running, puzzle assembling...anything.

On our normal routes, we run around our neighborhood. This means sometimes having to stop at corners or wait for a light to change, etc. We very rarely stop for more than 30 seconds, but there are stops. So this morning he suggested that we go run in this park that has a 1.4 mile loop to get an idea of my actual 5k time. "Why?", I asked, "At the 5k distance they don't separate you out by estimated finish times." "Well we'll still want to know where to be in the pack at the starting line." he says. "But why? What does it matter? My only goal is to run the whole thing and finish." I asked again, doubtfully. "Still, its annoying to have to stop all the time for lights, and it would still be nice to know about what time we're running." (notice he said "time we're running", not "time you're running"). So, I said fine, and we ran the park.

Now the problem here is that I'm competitive too. Really competitive. So, he's got his running app on full volume right next to my head (because he's tall and I'm short, so on his bicep is right next to my head). And it keeps saying "Estimated final time: 37 minutes" or 39 minutes, or at one point it was even 41 minutes. So it didn't take very long before I was ready to shoot the f-ing thing. I even told him it was pissing me off, and he said we'd just finish and see what happens.

Now here are all the reasons why I should have felt good about this morning's run: I ran the whole thing - no crosswalks, no slow kids getting in my way. I found my rhythm and stayed there until the last half mile or so, and then I pushed - not to a sprint, but to a comfortable fast run. I stayed strong all the way through the end. And 2 months ago I couldn't have done any of that.

But no, I finished the run and burst into tears. Why? "Workout complete. Final time: 39 minutes, 58 seconds." Yep, even running the whole thing, and really pushing through the end, and I still only finished in the same amount of time that I could have walked it. I felt like a complete joke. Now, because someone had to go and get all competitive over knowing where to be in "the pack" (for a 5k?!), my strongest run yet wasn't good enough. It wasn't good enough for me, and there will probably be people pushing strollers who will finish before me.

Moral of the story: if all you want to do is feel strong, and finish your runs, then for god sakes DON'T TIME YOURSELF!!